Lucina's Log
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Lucina writes down several memory logs of the various events that occur at the Smash Mansion. Things aren't as Lucina fortells in her dairy...
1. Chapter 1

**_Lucina's Log, January 14_**

_It's been all right here at the Super Smash Brothers Mansion. Master Hand has made it so that things would be a bit calmer for me to be accustomed to this place, but from what I seen, it's crazy. I'm not the only princess here, so it should be quite easy for me to fit in... I just hope that I don't cause too many problems for anyone. I heard that clones and similar characters are often looked down here..._

Lucina walked through the giant living room, to see all of the Smashers present. Fire Emblem's Roy, the Ice Climbers, Ivysaur, and Squirtle were all beating up Princess Rosalina and her Lumas, the Pokemon Trainer cheering them on, while the Koopalings were similarly beating up Diddy Kong. Pichu was eating her cheesecake in the corner, while Kirby was being electrocuted by Pikachu, who was pissed that the pink puffball ate up all the sweets, with Jigglypuff trying to catch everyone's attention by singing. As expected, Princess Peach Toadstool and Lady Palutena were farting their big butts off, giggling innocently as they used their deep pitched brassy farts to communicate with each other, with Princess Zelda pinching her nose and waving the air frantically with her right hand as she was sitting near them on the giant red couch.

"Things certainly aren't normal here." Lucina stated as she watched Bowser Junior zipping around in his Junior Klown Kar, while King Bowser Koopa was firing several bullet bills and giant red fireballs at Mario and Luigi in his own floating Koopa Klown Kar.

Link, Marth, and Ike were all fighting each other using their swordplay, with Meta Knight and Lucario doing some meditating, Greninja sneaking amongst the floor as Charizard was breathing red fire into the fireplace to make it hotter. Mewtwo was trying to read a book as Sonic The Hedgehog zipped around the place, laughing as Shadow The Hedgehog and Silver The Hedgehog followed him, all three hedgehogs being in a race. Young Link and Toon Link were using their instruments to conduct music, with the Animal Crossing Villagers netting each other with their bug nets, while Ness and Lucas were playing ping pong tennis with each other. Wario and Waluigi were causing mayhem in the background, while Fox McCloud was having an intense match with Wolf O' Donnell. Falco Lombardi was drinking some Diet Dr. Thunder as Captain Falcon and Shulk were having a meme shouting contest, with Samus Aran in her armor blasting the red and white targets while Zero Suit Samus was jumping on the platforms, with Shiek chucking various needles at one of the white Sandbags. Yoshi was watching NintendoCapriSun, you know IN THE BATHROOM, while Donkey Kong was jamming to the Donkey Kong Rap from Donkey Kong 64 with Pac-Man and the Mii Fighters. Mega Man was helping R.O.B. place several metal mechanics around the living room, with Dr. Mario taking several odd potions into his lab, Little Mac jogging up and down the stairs as King DeDeDe was chucking junk food into his mouth, gobbling it up. Dark Pit was sulking in the corner, with Crazy Hand creating various magic effects, and the Duck Hunt duo trying to sniff out Solid Snake, who was hiding away in his cardboard box, with Ganondorf cracking his fists as he was waiting for an opportunity to attack Link or Zelda.

Yep, Lucina knew that being at this mansion was anything but regular. It was SMASHING, for sure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lucina's Log, January 16**

_It's Friday, and I've heard that certain things happen every Friday. Captain Falcon is planning his movie night later, but it's also the night that Peach and Palutena have their farting contests, much to everyone's dismay. And I would later discover that some of the Smashers go out for bowling every weekend starting on Friday...  
_

Lucina hummed as she was walking down the hallway, to see R.O.B. and Bowser Junior both getting metal bowling balls out of the closet. She placed her hands on her hips as she approached them, curious as she tilted her head to the right.

"Errr... can I ask you something?" Lucina asked as she faced the two Smashers. "What's with the bowling bowls?"

Bowser Jr. and R.O.B. faced each other as they turned back to Lucina.

"We're going out bowling." Bowser Jr. explained as he whistled, summoning his Junior Clown Car as he jumped into it, facing Lucina. "We always do this."

"Yes. It's a thing we like to do with Pikachu and Falco." R.O.B. added as he and Bowser Jr. left Lucina, heading down the hallway.

Lucina folded her arms together as she blinked, only to be tackled into the ground by Phosphora as she laughed.

"Hey, hey, hey! What's up, girl?" Phosphora asked as she glanced down at Lucina.

Lucina tried to pull away from Phosphora as she dusted herself off. "Well, not much. I was just talking to my fellow Smashers, that's all."

"Oh. I see." Phosphora remarked as she frowned, feeling a bit depressed, rubbing her right arm together. "I wish I was a Smasher. But no, Pit's cute edgy twin and his old fart of a goddess have to be playable, while I'm just a dumb old Assist Trophy."

Lucina's eyes widened as she remembered that today was Friday, and that on Fridays, Lady Palutena would have farting contests with Princess Peach Toadstool. Lucina began panicking as she glanced left and right, sweating nervously. "Oh lord, I forgot... if I stay in the mansion while those two are cutting the cheese..."

It was too late. The wind was broken, and the mansion shook violently, with Lucina falling into Phosphora's breasts as Peach laughed, walking down the hallway with Palutena.

"Whoo wee! Did you hear that one?" Peach stated as she glanced at Palutena, lifting her right leg and letting out a wet fart as she stuck her tongue out. "I'm really feeling that one!"

"Hey! Don't steal my catchphrase!" Shulk growled as he attempted to backslash Peach, only to be greeted by Palutena's fart, her brassy flatulence blinding him as he screamed in pain, falling to the floor. "AUGH! The smell blinded me!"

Palutena smiled as she placed her right hand on her face. "That wasn't a good idea, Shulk. Now it won't be Shulk time."

Peach and Palutena kept on laughing as they both walked on and farted their deep pitched music, with Lucina still in Phosphora's breasts, the blonde goddess blushing.

"I appreciate you liking me to this degree, Lucina, but could you kindly get out?" Phosphora remarked, with Peach and Palutena pointing at her and laughing as she felt a bit embarrassed. "I know guys would love to do this, but..."

Lucina pulled herself out of Phosphora's breasts, only to smell the bad gas left by the flatulent female Smashers, fainting on the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Lucina's Log, January 21**

_Things have been a bit quiet, which I consider a good sign. usually at the Smash Mansion, things can get hectic. This peace is just the thing the mansion needed. Phosphora and Princess Daisy both decided to have some brunch with me in the girls' lounge, both of them telling me how their days went. My day in particular... started off well, but got a bit... complicated._

Lucina, Phosphora, and Princess Daisy were all in the girls' lounge of the Smash Manor, with all of them chuckling as they were having their usual conversation.

"...And that's how I managed to get my sports dress shorter." Daisy finished as she took a sip of her orange juice, sighing of relief. "Man, I just love drinking up fruit! Gives me all the energy and juicy sugar needed for me to get up and go!"

"Oh, there was this incident with lemonade." Phosphora remarked as she was munching on a cinnamon raisin bagel. "I was selling some lemonade to get the gist of lemonade selling, and Viridi really needed to urinate, so I had her pee in an empty glass vase, and I sold Viridi's pee as lemonade!"

Lucina and Daisy looked at Phosphora in disbelief as Phosphora smiled, shrugging while she continued munching on her bagel.

"That's... quite a feat." Lucina admitted as she touched her fingertips together. "Anyway, when I was doing some practices on the targets, when all of a sudden this giant asteroid was coming down towards the planet. I got distracted from breaking the last target, because the immense shadow caused by the asteroid was so dark, I couldn't see anything. Anyway, I tried to use my other senses, but it wasn't as good."

"So what happened?" Daisy asked as she sipped up some more orange juice, burping as she wiped her mouth with her right arm.

Lucina pulled out a small asteroid in her right hand, revealing it to the two girls. Phosphora and Daisy looked at each other as they blinked, glancing back at Lucina.

"So how did you get that?" Daisy remarked as she placed her left hand on her hip.

Lucina told the two girls in detail, with a flashback showing Lucina using as much of her swordplay to deal damage to the giant asteroid, of which she was in contact due to getting a lift into space, of which was because she summoned Rayquaza and asked the green dragon Pokemon to fly her all the way up, to of which he obliged.

Phosphora and Daisy still didn't believe her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Lucina's Log, February 8**

_So some of the guys all wanted to do a Karaoke with me. I guess that didn't sound like much of a problem, singing with the others was a fun activity. I myself love to sing... but I was so surprised as how girly these guys acted!_

"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends!" Pit and Toon Link sang together in unison, wiggling their hips.

"Make it last forever friendship never ends!" Lucina added as she waggled her right index finger.

Pikachu walked in as he was wondering what was going on, his eyes widening at the seen of Smashers singing the Wannabe song from the Spice Girls.

"If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give!" Toad sang as he clapped his hands together.

"Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is!" Popo sang as he twirled around.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Pikachu asked in disbelief.

"We're singing! You wanna join?" Toad remarked as he was grooving to the beat while the others sang.

"...No! This is the fucking Spice Girls!" Pikachu remarked as he was disgusted by Pit bending over and shaking his butt while giggling like a girl.

"Your loss, Pikachu! Acting girly is fun!" Toon Lnk squealed as he bumped butts with Popo.

* * *

Later on, Lucina was heading down the hallway as she bumped into Phosphora, who looked disappointed as she was heading in the opposite direction.

"Oh hey, Ms. Phosphora!" Lucina remarked as she dusted herself off, brushing back her blue hair. "I didn't see you! How was your day?"

"Fine, but I guess it doesn't matter since you sung without me." Phosphora pouted as she turned her head the other way, obviously feeling a bit insulted.

"Oh, I didn't know that you liked to sing." Lucina remarked, her eyes opening up a bit further as she learned something new about the blonde goddess.

"Yes, and I heard you singing with the boys. It just made me want to cry seeing you sing with them, and not involve me!" Phosphora remarked as she could feel her lips starting to tremble.

Lucina touched her fingertips together as she felt a bit awkward. "W-well... you could have just come in. None of us would have minded."

Her eyes widening, Phosphora turned to Lucina as she rubbed the back of her head with her left hand. "Oh, really? Well, I'll have to keep that in mind next time... thanks..." She sighed as she began sulking, continuing down the hallway as Lucina shrugged, continuing on her way to see several floating objects in the hallway, making her question logic as she spotted Dr. Mario dashing down towards her, panting.

"Sorry about that, Ms. Lucina. I told Crazy Hand not to mess with my stuff." Dr. Mario apologized as he grabbed all the stuff and took off, with Lucina shrugging as she continued on her way.


	5. Chapter 5

**Lucina's Log, March 8**

_I knew eating those burritos was a bad idea. I should watch what Princess Peach suggests to me... after all, she is the fart master. Even that gross fat man, Wario, comes to her for flatulent advice... then again, I noticed Lady Palutena is hanging out with her a lot for that particular reason... on that note, I really need a bathroom..._

Lucina farted as she groaned, fanning the air as she stuck her tongue out, hanging out with a couple of equally gassy girls in one of the mansion's many lounges. "Phew! I'm really stinking it up!"

"Don't worry, miss Lucina!" Toadette exclaimed as she was breaking wind in her tan colored jean shorts, having taken a somewhat humanoid form due to eating a strange mushroom earlier. "Us Nintendo girls always seem to have a lot of farts! Why, just take a look at Princess Daisy farting in tight jeans over there!"

"You don't need to blast it out of your ass!" Princess Daisy shouted above her brassy deep pitched farts as she held her nose with her right hand, her left hand on her rumbling stomach as she was in fact wearing jeans, the matching yellow color to match with her regular upper clothing at that.

Lucina simply blushed as she shook her head. "Well... I just hope I won't leave much of a stink in these clothes. Lord knows what my father will think..."

Chrom was too busy playing around with his giant pile of fish sticks to even realize that his own daughter was cranking out a storm of farts within the Smash Mansion.


	6. Chapter 6

**Lucina's Log, January 1**

_My goodness, I lost the track of time... I've been in this mansion for so long, I completely forgot what it was like in all these months! Maybe the frantic mess that the Smash fights can be is what made me off..._

Lucina was looking out the balcony as it was raining outside, with Phosophora appearing as she was going to prank the blue haired female anime sword user, only to feel some empathy in her suddenly.

"Hey, Martha... you all right?" Phosphora asked as she leaned on the ledge, being on Lucina's right side. "You don't seem... as energetic as you were months ago."

Lucina sighed, closing her eyes as she shook her head. "Do you ever get the feeling that things are just going too fast for you to take in? Do you feel like we only exist for the sole purpose of entertaining thousands with no real reason to exist?"

"Well, uh..." Phosphora stumbled as she was caught off guard by Lucina's speech. "Technically, uh, nah."

Lucina just took in a deep breath as she shook her head, wanting to be left alone as Phosphora shrugged, realizing that what she could do would only make matters worse.


End file.
